I think I’m gonna scream. I’m not even really sure what I’m so nervous about. I mean I know I don’t do well with pre-planned social events. So yeah the whole being center of attention thing is playing with my nerves majorly. Then there is the worry about the logistics of it all, family, food, rain and such. Then deep down and underneth it all I’m deathly affraid that I won’t be a good wife. (actually, I finally figured that one out while typing) I guess that’s the one that is screwing with my emotions. It’s wonderful to think about my soon to be husband. And today we talked about his worries. And I feel horrible that I didnt see it sooner. I want to comfort him and I’ve realized how much I’ve screwed up already getting totally wrapped up in everything else.
I’m really doubting myselg right now. I know once we get past the actual wedding it will be fine. But right now I’m kinda high strung. Not that I don’t look forward to the wedding and everything, but I look more forward to Saturday night when everything finally settles in once we are alone.
I”m a little too rattle to really say too much right now. I”m sitting here worring about my parents, who are driving up right at this moment. I’m still breaking in my wedding shoe (second pair actually) And I’m deathly affraid of the last dress fitting.
Maybe it’s just been easier to focus on the possible dramas, and the physical demands then to deal with all the emotional things going on.
Only two more days…two more busy days.